A year later (almost) and nothing has changed. Why? I am a coward. I am so miserable and feel so trapped. Why can't I speak? Why can't I say the words that need to be said? Why do they stop in my chest and refuse to come out? It hurts. Day after day. More angry with myself for allowing myself to continue like this. It is pain. It is brutal. It is not what I want. If I say something he goes into victim stance. I get nothing in return. No acknowledgement of how I feel. It's like I have said nothing because then he goes on with his life like nothing is said. Damn it!! He is killing me. I am killing myself. I have grown to hate him. Despise him. Resent him. Can't even speak to him. Not without venom.