Too many tears. What direction to take? I know exactly what I need to do, but too scared to do it. I am not generally scared to do anything. Except the important things. I can't leave my house. It is the one thing that is really keeping me together. If only he wasn't in it. I start to freak out on Friday afternoons thinking I have the next two days to spend in that house. With him. There is so little recourse. If I leave I can be found of abandoning my home. I will not do that. I don't want to leave without my daughter, either. I will not have her lose the house she has been growing up in. I bought this house for life. So much for the marriage. I can't even talk. I have so much fear about talking to him about all of this. Partly because his response up until now has been so incredibly barely a response. So pathetic. Yes, that is how I feel. Is he just waiting me out? Thinking eventually I will leave? I love the house so much way more than him. Partly because what if it does end? That is really scary too. Am I making a wrong decision? Is there a way to make sure? I am hating each and every moment with him. He is a good man. I just don't love him. I am irritated at pretty much everything he does, says, is. Despite telling him what I want or need he still does not respond to my needs. I feel selfish. There are women who would do anything for a man like my husband. I just want something different. Someone told me not too long ago that I am dying inside. And that is exactly how it feels.